Hai readers. Ada ka? Ada kot, haha, hai :) Lama gila tak update kan. Busy gila sekarang. Eh by the way sekarang tengah final. Dah nak habes pon sebenarnya. Esok dah last payper, paper Hubungan Etnik and now here I am updating my blog, hahaha malas gila nak study padahal tau dah esok nak masuk esei two pages kot ! Santai gila aku. Mesti orang paling santai di dunia pon jeles tengok kesantaian aku.
Hurmm, nak cerita apa kali ni. Haih. About that. What should I say. To be honest, I'm terribly missing you right now. Reall, really missing you :( I know, I do seem stupid right. Hati ni degil, degil nak tunggu awak. Degil sangat nak sabar tunggu awak. Walaupun kadang saya kadang rasa lemah sangat, tambah bila tengok awak. Awak bahagia kan? Suka tengok awak bahagia, tapi saya sedih, sebab bukan saya yang jadi pencetus kegembiraan awak lagi. It is not me anymore :')
By the way, thanks a lot, for that first-meeting moment. Jujur, mula saya terkejut bila tiba-tiba awak cakap nak jumpa tu. Lepas beberapa hari saya try nak jauhkan diri dari awak, beberapa hari saya tahan rindu saya, tahan diri saya dari contact awak. Sebab tu saya balik kampung, sebab saya nak belajar untuk mengikhlaskan awak, sebab saya nampak awak bahagia. Allah, sebab saya sangat suka tengok awak bahagia sebenarnya, sebab tu saya paksa diri nak ikhlaskan, sebab saya nak tengok awak senyum dan ketawa, walaupun ia menyakitkan sebab bukan saya di sebalik setiap kegembiraan awak. But bila kita jumpa, makin kuat pulak perasaan ni. Tengok awak senyum, ketawa, semua tu, membahagiakan saya. Terima kasih, Heart Stealer.
Heart Stealer, saat ini, jujur, saya masih menanti. Mengharapkan sesuatu yang tak pasti. Hanya ada satu benda yang buat saya kuat sekarang. Rasa yang pernah kita kongsi. Walaupun, ya, akal saya meragui, tapi hati saya, berkeras nak membenarkan rasa yang pernah kita kongsi. Jadi, saya berkeras nak bertahan. Saya berkeras nak bersabar. Saya berkeras nak tunggu, andai satu saat, ada miracle yang muncul, kita akan bertemu semula, dalam cerita yang sama. Salahkah saya berharap?
Heart Stealer, dah beberapa hari saya mimpikan awak. Is it because I'm missing you too much right now? Semuanya pasal awak. Saya, rindu.
I miss you more than I thought was possible. Tau tak, jujurlah, sebenarnya semua kenangan yang pernah ada antara 'kita' actually mampu menggembirakan saya. Haha, kelakar kan. I don't know but even you are not with me now, but everything you left are really great for me to remember. I don't want to forget all those memories. Can I remember it all?
I really miss how I bullied you, how your face when you got bullied by me. How you laugh, how you sulked. Haha, really, everything. I can't forget all about you. Really. And your eyes and of course your cute teeth, I miss to see them again. I really do. Conclusion, I'm longing for your existence in my life, MFZ :')
I've never thought that you would be this important to me. You were one of reason why I laughed and smiled. And once you left, you brought along all joys in me. All smiles and laughs. I can't smile like I used to smile before, just because whenever I do nothing, I'll be thinking, is there any possibilities for us, for second time?
For this time being, I'll be here. Standing here. Waiting for any miracle to happen. If, if you ever intend to turn back, I'll be here. I know, this is just a hope, but I really don't want to give up yet. Because I know, this feeling I had when I was with you, they were extraordinary special. I've started, liking, and even worse, I've started, loving you. We don't give up on person we truly love, right? And real feeling, will never just fade away. And this feeling I have right now towards you, I'm pretty sure, it's true.
Sekarang saya dah tak boleh bebel-bebel kat awak. Haha, rindu sebenarnya nak bebel-bebel. Awak cakap saya banyak bunyik macam itik. Cis. Yelah, sekarang mesti aman dunia awak sebab dah tak kena buli, kan? Haha. Rindu. Sangat. Rindu. Rindu aku sangat rindu kamu. Peh nyanyi pulak dah. Gedik pulak rasa diri ni, haha but that's just what I'm feeling right now so yeah, I'm typing it out. Rindu nak bebel awak suruh makan nasik, jangan asyik makan biskut roti. Jangan bawak motor laju-laju sebab takut awak melayang. Bebel suruh bawak pemberat. Bebel suruh lekat L kat motor, perli actually. Jangan minum milo, sebab awak allergic. Jangan lupa makan ikut waktu, nanti perut awak sakit. Jangan tido lembat = lewat + lambat, sebab nak gi kelas awal. Semua benda mengingatkan saya dengan awak, dan semua tu buat saya tergelak sendiri. Tengok cadar katil ingat awak, sebab cadar kita kaler sama. Tengok roti ingat awak, sebab awak hantu roti. Tengok motor ingat awak, takut awak melayang time bawak motor. Tengok rambut Kpop ingat awak, yang fanatik sangat dengan rambut tu. Haih, can be said everything lah. Nampak kan, macamana rindunya saat ni saya kat awak. Tapi saya tak mampu nak luah semua tu, saya tak mampu nak luah semua tu kat awak, sebab saya takut, semuanya tak berbalas.
Saya tak mampu nak luahkan, jadi saya luahkan semuanya padaNya. Dia tau yang terbaik, kan? I'm believing in power of du'a, and power of patience, so, I wanna keep calm, and keep trying. Let me.
By the way, dah tiga hari dah kelopak mata kanan bawah berkedip-kedip. Pastu jantung ni asyik degup laju je. Tak senang duduk jadinya. Is there something gonna happen? Allahu. Harap semuanya akan sentiasa ok. Orang-orang yang aku sayang. Mak, ayah, adik, kawan-kawan, and, awak. Please take care. Please be save, may Allah protect all of you and give His bless to all of you. Risau sebenarnya, tapi mungkin perasaan? Entahlah. Harap semuanya baik-baik belaka :') Till we meet again ! Nak sambung study. Last payper :D
Terima Kasih Sudi Baca Cerita Saya ^^,
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