Hai ! Long time no see since my last update. Well I'm in home, for my semester break that will come to its end this Sunday and then will be continuing my life as a student. Again, but this time can be called as senior, since I'm in semester 3 now -to-be-
And the result will be released by this evening or tomorrow, that's what Mr. Sasigaran said because we need to register our semester and it only can be done after the result is released. So, I'm nervous. To see my pointer. Has it drops? I don't know so just wait and see. Tawakkaltualallah :)
When the time comes? Yes, when the time comes for you to realize that, the person you love, sometimes just meant to be in your heart but not in your life. This moment, I'm still, hurt. But I'm trying not to show and trying not to care. Why would care about someone, who you are not sure will care the same as you did?
I don't know, even he cares. But I don't hope he cares. Because that will distract his life, so nevermind. I might have liked many people, but I don't love all people I liked. But when I love someone, there must be something. This moment, I have already started to give up. Because people said, why would you across the ocean for people who don't even dare to cross the pool for you? Yes, they are right. Fighting all by myself, just hurt me more and more.
I just want to see the one I love, being happy. So maybe letting go is the best way. I just hope to see his smile and laugh don't stop. I loved, and I still loving even I was just a mistake. I try not to blame. And I try to forgive everything. Forget? Can forgive doesn't mean can forget. Let time decides.
When you love someone, all things that matter, is to see the person you love, continue their life, happily. I'm going away and away, because I don't want him to feel guilty. Well, I don't know if he even thinking about it the way I still do, but just in case. I did my istikharah. Even I see him in my dream, but for this time, letting go is the best way. Just, to help him, vanishing this mistake he did. That dreams, will they become true? I don't know, let Him decides everything.
Let people be happy. Even you have to sacrifice your own happiness. Don't sacrifice other's happiness just to get your happiness. Because that's mean. For me, being happy on other's tears is impossible. I don't want to do that. That's why I let go. Even I'm crying. Not to say that I'm a good person. But, I just can't. I just can't let myself be the reason for other people to cry.
Maybe this is just punishment. I used to make the one who loved me, sad. I ended everything before, even I know that person loved me. I'm not being cruel, but I'm preventing myself from being cruel towards him. It is better to be honest, rather that being with someone, just based on sympathy. So I ended everything, yes he was hurt. I hurt myself even more when I did that once upon a time, because I hurt a person who love me, but I don't want to keep that relationship just because I felt sorry for him, because that was unfair and he deserves someone who will love him. So maybe this is the punishment. Even the situation is different but still, I have to think and learn something.
Change the topic. Oh ya ! My acting. Hahahahaha. Okay I can't stop laughing looking at myself acting. It has been published. It is so funny. And I wanna share it here. Even it is embarrassing. Our final project, Movie Maker Project for English for ICT conducted by Mr Zahren, on title The Tale of Garlic and Red Onion. Enjoy watching our video and if possible give feedback :) I can't share the video maybe it was too large so if you are interested to watch it just click here ----> The Tale of Garlic and Red Onion
That's all for now ! We'll be seeing again soon. Wish me goodluck for upcoming result !