Re-evaluate

Bila orang kata kat aku, kenapa kau give up kalau kau betul betul nakkan sesuatu? Bukan ke kalau kau give up, it means you don't really want that particular thing. And if you really want that thing, you should keep trying and trying. Same thing goes to someone, that you claimed that you love that particular person. They asked me why I gave up back then. It was just, I got this confidence that, whatever happen, if we broke, we fell apart, we hateeach other or whatsoever, if that particular thing or someone, at the end cepat atau lambat, dalam keadaan macamanapon, that thing or that someone will for sure become mine. Thats all.

" Kalau suka seseorang, jauhkan diri dari dia. Waktu tu baru boleh define kau suka dia sebab nafsu atau semata-mata kerana Allah. Kalau suka sebab nafsu, kau tak boleh menjauh. Ada saja yang tak kena. Tapi, kalau kau sukakan dia semata-mata lillahi ta'ala, kau akan cuba kawal perasaan. Dan akan makin cuba jauhkan diri sebab takut zina hati. But you always mention that particular person's name without fail in your du'a. Sebab apa? Sebab kau tahu, hati dia Allah yang pegang.  Kalau ditanya, "sayang dia tak?" "Sayang" "Kalau sayang kenapa lepaskan dia?" Jawablah, "Sebab sayang." Simple but deep, nahh? Sebab sayang laa kau lepaskan dia. Kalau tak sayang, memang dah lama kau hanyutkan dia. Cinta aku, kau, kita limited edition. Maka? Lepaskan. Lepaskan cinta yang tidak halal. Biar Dia yang jaga. Biar Dia yang lindung. Fi hifzillah. Wahai kesayangan. Baik-baik dalam jagaan-Nya. :) "

When I read this I was like, exactly. Maybe I need time to value, what exactly I feel toward that particular person. Betul ke aku betul betul sayangkan dia. Boleh ke aku yakin yang semua tu bukan sebab nafsu semata. Nope. Bila aku pikir balik, ada betulnya. Memang bagi aku, aku serius and I think about my future. Orang yang akan ada dalam masa depan aku. Orang yang satu hari nanti akan bimbing aku. And I like that particular person for the values he has in himself. Aku nampak ciri ciri yang aku nak dalam dia. Tapi dalam masa yang sama aku rasa aku tak dapat nafi yang, aku ni kadang hanya ikut perasaan. Sampai bila kena uji macam ni, aku jatuh, aku lemah, aku menangis macam dah hilang harapan. Seolah olah thats the only thing matters in my life. Macam hilang benda tu boleh buat aku hilang semua makna hidup. Agak bodoh, kan?
Bila fikir balik yes it does seem dumb. But maybe it's because of myself. I'm not that strong honestly but look at me. I managed to get through all that and that means, Allah knows that I'm strong enough to face all the things He prepared for me. And, now I'm brave enough to say that I'm not worried at all. Yes I lost someone who I wanted in my future. And sebenarnya aku ada masalah dalam nak berkawan semula dengan orang orang baru because I'm really afraid to give trust and afraid to try. But I'm just feeling confident enough that one day, things that have meant to be with me, will come along and stay. The right thing. The right time. So, fi hifzillah to something or someone out there. One day we'll meet again, kalau ditetapkan macam tu. Siapa pon, apapon,aku doakan itu yang terbaik untuk semua.  

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Terima Kasih Sudi Baca Cerita Saya ^^,

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